Don't Walk Away And Leave Me Broken

Fffff I don’t know what to do about college now…I seriously want to skip CSM and go to UMBC or Towson but I don’t know if I can afford it and I know there are loans and stuff I can get but it’s still expensive and I don’t know what to do. I need to go visit both schools obviously but that requires time, which I don’t have. And I need a hug. Sarah graduates tomorrow…it’s going to be odd without her in the school. It used to be I knew if I had a really bad day I could go find her at some point during the day, but she graduates tomorrow. And is going to New Mexico Tech for school. She’ll do great :) I’m going to miss her. But hey, here begins another chapter. So, I think I’ll probably apply early decision to UMBC, just to see. That way I have until May 1st to let them know provided I get accepted. I’m not sure about Towson yet. But either way, seriously need to go visit them. Why can’t this be easier…and I need to get my license and get some sleep and go ride a roller coaster or 9 and some water slides and go to the beach and breathe dammit. I’ll be working this summer hopefully and I’ll be going to college starting in July and then school starts in August and I only have two classes for my senior year to pass and tech center to get my CNA. And apply for financial aid and schools and not get dead…getting dead would be extremely counter productive. Hah. And my room is cold. But I’m still laying here spilling my head onto a website so I can maybe make sense of everything and stop worrying so much. I need a hot shower, maybe I’ll go do that in a little bit. Hot showers are nice. Just have to get through Monday and Tuesday of next week. The rest are half days…I can do this…and then, everything changes. It’s kind of odd…almost done with school after 13 years (kindergarden counts guys, I still had to get up early :P ). And next is college. Hence the above rant. But ehh…I’ll figure something out. Right now I need to finish driving school and my Junior year of high school and figure out if I’m working this summer and pass English 1010. We’ll go from there. I need to take a chill pill and get some sleep…this weekend, I will sleep through the entire thing if I want to, because I need it. I’m fine guys. No really, I’m alright. :)

Seriously guys, not a damn thing changes around here. I’m not allowed to stay home alone for the weekend because the trip to Virginia was planned. Ha. I don’t even want to go. And I have school that day. And then driving school until 9 pm. I swear if they try to pull this shit over the summer they can go fuck themselves. I’ll have work and college. I’m almost 17. And I’m getting a job over the summer that’s full time AND going to school so I can get my degree faster. You guys still want to treat me like a child? Fine. Watch me disappear at 18 and make it on my own.